Green Book (2018) ★★
Gave it an extra two stars for Mahershala Ali’s performance and Viggo Mortensen’s dad bod.
On a more serious note, this movie is unbelievably problematic. The fact that this took the Oscar for Best Picture is even more so. Green Book was advertised as a buddy/road trip movie about two opposite men finding the good in each other despite their differences and taking on the racism of the South together. I suppose I can only speak from my own viewing experience, but THAT is a far cry from what I got.
Director Peter Farrelly (Dumb and Dumber, There’s Something About Mary") gives us Donald Shirley (Ali), a gay, black, wickedly intelligent, composer/psychologist and overall genius. Shirley lives (literally) above Carnegie Hall in a penthouse that screams “I’m better than you! Look at my throne!” Or, so Farrelly would have us believe. We are also graced with a man named Tony “Lip” Vallelonga (Mortensen). Tony earned his nickname in his youth for being “a good bullshitter.” He is a low/middle class Italian/American who faces all of the same problems that you and I do each and every day. How many hot dogs will I have to eat to pay my rent? What if I forget to brush my feet off before bed? What the hell am I supposed to do when a couple of black men drink from my glasses?! (I think we can all agree we wouldn’t be able to find a garbage can quickly enough). After a quick conversation about “having any problems working for a black man” and a tiny dose of amnesia, the two are off to take Shirley’s music through the Deep South.
What ensues is an exploration of, what Dr Shirley’s clinical training might’ve led him to call a “false equivalency.” That is, if he or any of his family had been contacted during the making of this film. We spend the next hour and a half following the two men through the South. Tony as the driver/bodyguard. Donald as the thoughtful musician. Tony needs to learn that not all black people are gross cup contaminators. Shirely needs to learn about “his people’s music” and what fried chicken is. THOSE THINGS ARE NOT OF EQUAL IMPORTANCE. Look, I’m not entirely convinced that, taken out of the context of 2018, or America for that matter, that some these conversations wouldn’t have worked. Vallelonga trying to write a romantic letter to his wife with Shirley’s help might have played out with the humor that Farrelly intended. Sadly, that scene is minutes, no. YEARS too close to “Throw Away the Cups” Vallelonga saying “I’m blacker than you are!” for me to stomach it.
Defenders of this film (that even acknowledge it’s societal implications in the first place) will argue that change starts on a small scale. I don’t disagree entirely. I think there’s a lot of merit to seeing things from that perspective but this movie tries to superimpose that ideology on (an effectively) larger scale (see final dinner scene).
I really REALLY wanted to like Green Book but I just couldn’t. I don’t want this story. I don’t want this movie. I’m a heterosexual white middle class man and even I’M sick of seeing this kind of shit. I can’t understand how a studio was presented with these two people and decided that the best move was to make the movie about Vallelonga. GIVE ME Doctor Don Shirley in all of his glory. I would watch a movie of him pacing around his apartment composing music and just talking. Give me THAT movie not directed by a guy who is most famous for adding diarrhea sounds and semen hair gel to movies. Give me Spike Lee, Boots Riley, Steve McQueen, Ava DuVernay, or Barry Jenkins to make the RIGHT movie here. Man, give me Jordan Peele at the very least. At least if he had made it, Green Book would’ve been horrifying for some of the right reasons.
Reviewed by Max Minardi. Full review on Fresh Hop Cinema Episode 110